conversation in my head
doug
who are you, what do you do?
spirit
i know who not i am, but i open the dam
doug
how can you not know?
spirit
how can you know?
doug
i do not understand what you say
spirit
how can you be a character in a play?
doug
i do not understand
spirit
you were given a name on this land
doug
weren’t you?
spirit
i’m more than land. i’m more than time. i’m everyone of the grains of sand
doug
you are the grains of sand everything you rhyme, and you are more than land. but you sit here. you are here.
spirit
yes
doug
and you want me to guess
spirit
yes
doug
if you are the grains of sand, more than time, and more than land. how can you be packaged into this, this i see. this thing i can’t miss. this thing in front of me.
spirit
why can’t it be? why can’t it all be me?
doug
is that chair over there part of me? no, i think not, you see, just what is whole is me, and the whole covers my soul, you see. there is no parts, just the whole, that covers the soul, one body connected, around a soul it was all erected, but you are different. you are everything, so you say
spirit
yes, yeah. that’s what i say i am a set, who is whole. i am dry and wet and i am more than a soul. i feel you sit in that chair. i feel when you comb your hair.
doug
so you’re everywhere. you are it, and at it you can still stare. if you are that who am i, where am i at?
spirit
you are you, that’s true. i am more, but you aren’t less. while you walk this floor. this is no guess.
doug
but what does that mean? you are more , but i am not less. the meaning am i suppose to guess? more and not less is an equal score. so we’re the same. so we’re the same, but you’re everything. and i’m just this. i don’t understand this song you sing. some thing i miss.
spirit
you miss because you don’t see. you miss because of me hold up your hand, look at it. beside it you see land, because you can’t see through it. look at your hand. do you see empty air or land with your stare? do you hear the sound of a marching band, or is it a rumbling in the air. can you pick it up? or to you does it shut up? or you do not listen, or understand these words that glisten. because if you can hear, you can see and you’ll understand me. you can be deaf and hear and blind and see, but you don’t because of confusion and fear. so you see an illusion and only part you hear. do you understand? do you understand?
doug
no, i don’t, and i’m afraid i never will and in the end i won’t. forgive me. you see, your talk is different and i can’t understand a cent. it’s like puzzle to me. hundreds of pieces, you see, and i haven’t even put together two, and the wind is blowing and the rain is coming down. it’s even snowing. and it’s dark. i’m out in the weather with the pieces and the elements never ceases and i can’t see. i can’t find matching pieces they’re blown all over, to and fro and i scramble around, looking for pieces on the ground. none match. and i’m wet because of the rain. i’m cold because of the snow. and the wind has chaffed my skin. and it’s dark and scary. you see. i feel pain. and i don’t know where to go. what direction. it’s so scary now. can you see my confusion? my illusion?
spirit
yes, i do. i understand you. i see on that cold earth floor. roaming around looking for what must be found. i understand. i know your confusion. your illusion your snow, your rain your pain. i know. but you miss. you miss what i say you can’t understand this. they’re all just pieces, that are whole, and to each one of them you pull, so you go all over the place. at a frantic pace, they pull you there and at them you stare and you can’t put them together and you blame it on the weather and they laugh, because you are hooked like a fish on a gaffe. i can’t say no more. maybe later words will pour but i can’t spell it out for you. it’s something you must do.
copyright
douglas alan stromback
